Monday, 29 July 2013

A letter to my 16 year old self (autobiography)

Dear Julie
My name is Jules. You don't know me yet but I've known you for a very long time.
It's been a difficult time for you and there's more to come. I'm writing this so that you know one extremely important fact. Whatever life throws at you, I am the absolute proof that you will get through it.
1993 I remember it well, so many changes and some real mile stones. Leaving school and turning our back on the bullying once and for all. Well nearly all anyway, a sexist boss and an angry co-worker means that there may be the odd bullying tactic to look forward to, but no more chewing gum in hair or being force fed spiders. You and most the people around you are finally adults. In just a few months our parents will get a buyer for the family home, sell up and move out. Right now your plan is to go with them to live in Wales but you're about to be offered your very first full time job and meet your very first real loving boyfriend. At this vulnerable time when you feel that one part of your family is abandoning you, look to a different family member for support, love and shelter. You're about to get to know your brother in a way you never expected. He's not just the boy who karate chopped us if we got in their way, or who would crash our Mr Men computer game so he could play his Never ending story game. It turns out he's actually a really wonderful guy and he will love you so so much.
It's hard to write to much without giving you spoilers. It is best to live life without boundaries and make your own mistakes and discoveries then to know what's coming and live in fear or anticipation.
I can give you a few hints though.
Animals. It's no secret how much we like our four legged furries. We begged our parents for a month before we got Gizmo our first hamster. It took a year of pleading before our cats Shantih and Charity came along. Luckily our brother shares our love for all things feline and it's only a matter of weeks before a very special kitty enters your life. They'll be a couple more along the line. You have a few assorted rodents to look forward to but the animal that's going to climb in to your heart leaving hoof prints on the way, is your favouritist of them all. Horses are going to feature in your life in a very big way. No more wishing on stars. There's going to be more then one set of hooves loving you.
But it's not all kittens and ponies. Things are going to get hard. There will be some terrifying moments when you feel you may lose control on reality. When your tendency for extreme mood swings will really come to light. My advice to you is to breath. Breath in and out and trust yourself. The hardest thing you'll ever do will be to ask for help. But if you do, the fear and panic will be shared and halved.
Live your life Jules and remember it's about learning and enjoyment.
Keep breathing and love life
Yours forever
Jules x

1 comment:

  1. This is beautiful Jules, I'm glad she's going to make it! <3